Sunday, July 31, 2011

The Long Hot Summer

I had a dream.  It was a simple dream.

This summer, I would get a ton of writing done. My daughters are thirteen and nine now.  They are fairly self-sufficient.  In my dream, they would go about their summer with a moderate amount of help from me (mainly with the driving parts) and I would write all day.  Heck, I would write more than during the school year because there would be two extra people who could help with the cooking and the cleaning.  It would be paradise.

Then I woke up.

*Pan in on me working at my desk.*

"Mom where's that thing?"
"What thing?"
"That thing.  You know that thing we had at the pool last year that was really fun."
"What did it look like?"
"It had like a fan and a squirt bottle and you could mist yourself with it."
"I think it's down stairs."
"I looked down stairs, I couldn't find it."
"Did you actually look, as in moving things around, or did you just stand in the middle of the room and wait for it to fly off the shelves toward you?"
"I LOOOKED MOM!  Can you just help me, pleeeease?"

Gadget is easily found in basement storage behind a small box. I resume writing.

"It's not working."
"It probably needs batteries."
"Where are the batteries?"
"In the battery storage unit on the wall of the storage area."
"UUUUHG!" Kid stomps off

I resume working. Five minutes elapses.

"It still isn't working."
"Did you find the batteries?"
"Are they in correctly?"
"Are they in the way the picture on the cover shows you to put them in?"
"I guess it's broken."
"Can you fix it?"
"Let me see."

I open the battery hatch and replace the batteries in the correct position according to the diagram.

"There it works."
"I'm going outside."
"Have fun."

I resume working.  Five minutes elapses.

"Mom, can you take me and Olivia to the pool?"
"I can't right now I'm working."
"There's nothing to do here.  It's so boring."
"Clean your room."
"It is clean."
"Really?  Your bed is made and there's nothing on the floor."
"Well, no. But it's not that bad."
"If you're room's not clean you have something to do.  See ya."

I resume working.  Five minutes elapses.

"I'm done cleaning my room.  Now can you take me to the pool."
"No. I told you I have work to do."
"WHAT!  I cleaned my room for NOTHING!  You said you would take me to the pool if I cleaned my room."
"No. I didn't.  I said if you were bored you could clean your room."
"Mom, come on, pleeeeese."
"No. I can't."

Kid pouts.  Kid crawls under desk and plays with my toes.  Kid finds rubber bands in desk drawer and shoots it across the room. Kid sings the anthem to the most annoying commercial ever over and over again at the top of her lungs.  Kid makes a snack and sets off the smoke alarm.

"Okay. Let's all go to the pool."

Other kid who has been happily playing on the computer, "WHAT! I don't want to go to the pool."

Rinse and repeat.

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